Some Thoughts on Feedback

Shane Parrish, reflecting on feedback, says that nobody likes a difficult conversation. So, many times bosses care more about how the conversation feels than about whether the problem gets solved. This is selfish. Also, says Parrish, when receiving feedback, many people focus on how they feel about it and not on the substance. Deep down, they don’t actually want direct feedback.

Marshall Goldsmith popularized the term feedforward applied to coaching. While feedback evaluates past behavior, feedforward is focused on future improvement.

The premise of feedforward is that you can’t change the past, and feedback tends to be seen as corrective and retrospective. People are more open to forward-looking suggestions. However, many times we’ll still need to give feedback. We’ll need to talk about past behavior, even when focusing on future improvement.

In a professional relationship, we expect feedback to be honest, non-judgmental, and complete. It doesn’t mean disclosing every fact you hold about the person you are giving feedback to, or disclosing things that are not feedback at all. But it should be complete regarding the assessment of the person’s work. Thus, rarely an improvised conversation results in good feedback.

Good feedback requires both parties doing their part. Many organizations are build around a culture where neither happens. So leaders default to soft feedback to keep the conversation comfortable, and receivers treat feedback as an attack to deflect.

Again, from Shane Parrish:

Exceptional results happen when people are willing to give direct feedback and to hear it.

Surrounding yourself with people that understand what real feedback and feedforward is about is critical.